Well yesterday was a day where nothing got done – there’s not much to say – I looked up porn then spent the rest of the day watching movies. I’m stressed about the loss of position for a legal client – I have taken action yesterday but still not updated the client. Let’s see what happens.
Yesterday was a surprisingly productive day. Seeing as it was a Sunday – I did wake up quite late. Like literally at like 1:30pm – however I made the most of it. After having a big breakfast I realized there was no point going outside – I made my spot near the TV and I started working. I ended up working on a client’s item for a few hours which kept me busy – and I even did a fear task of doing 1 month’s book keeping.
Also – for my night time ritual I meditated and read the Integrated Marketing book and also brainstormed which was really cool (basically time management stuff).
So overall it was pretty productive – I was hoping to go to the gym – and I was actually feeling really pumped – however for some reason – one being that I was scared my couch position was going to be taken I decided not to go.
I think in the future if I get th eitch for the gym I should have everything prepared to hit – but it’s ok because I went gym this morning.
One thing I did that was a bit stupid was ordering some chocolate bars – but then again I had one yesterday and I had one this morning – but that cost me $25 which my friend was the stupidest decision ever. The client is getting back to me regarding me putting that Corona notification on so that’s great and should be another 590 in my bank account.
Of course in the evening I looked up porn – but I did get it over with quite quickly.
Yesterday I got up and went to the gym – I got up at around 12:30 I believe – and so by the time I finished gym it was almost 5pm. I also had a good chat with the lady that worked there – who actually added me on Instagram (not sure if it was a romantic thing but I didn’t find her attractive – though I did find it easy to talk to her).
After the gym I went to work – I didn’t really have a lot of time to get anything done but I did setup my AdWords ad – I was going to launch it however I learned that I owe Google like $110 – and I don’t even know what that’s for – I did reach out to ask them.
The Fiverr guy has an issue with doing my graphic because of the feet thing… so I’m going to have to see if I can find a Disney girl that looks like a dominatrix.
Finally I left and went and got socks and undies – I only got enough for one batch – I really should have stocked up with more – but anyway I got that (forgot the toothpaste).
Yesterday I was doing my fear tasks – I had actually set 2 fear tasks for myself. The first one being to get my credit report and the second one being to make my YouTube page. I actually paid a graphics artist (all though now he’s complaining that it’s too adult for what I want).
The other thing is getting my credit report – but that would require a Medicare card – and so let me see if I can get it by going to the Medicare card centre – wherever that is.
Other than that everything is good. I got paid from a number of clients so that’s positive – I should really get a digital camera on credit.
Yesterday I actually set myself a Fear Task – and I got back into the gym. I caught a Didi in the morning to the gym and did my thing – of course the first training session is usually the easiest one – it’s the next 2 that are going to be tough as there’s just so much more sets.
I was fixing up various issues for clients – and one thing I’m proud of is starting on the YouTube channel – I made a name for myself ‘WPWeirdo’ – and I created an idea for what I want the channel to look like – so I’m actually taking action. I got paid this morning so I have enough to buy the m50… maybe just one more payment.
When I got home I actually brainstormed and meditated all though I didn’t do the Lynda course – but I actually sprinted after I was finished working in the library which was really cool.
Yesterday was a day wasted – all though in fairness I didn’t feel too bad – having a whole day off was pretty good. I still felt some anxiety that I would lsoe this casino deal for some reason. Once again I didn’t go to the gym – and while I meditated in the morning I didn’t do so at night.
The best feeling to describe it would be that I feel everything that I worked for is being stripped away – and I’m powerless to stop it. Powerlessness is a good word to describe it. Masturbating really reminds me of just how little control I have – and how I have most likely – so many other things that I can’t control.
Really – I need to mediate a lot more – and I committed myself to going to the gym tomorrow (which is today).
At least I didn’t pay anything for porn – just browsed Tumblr this time.
Well I can’t even front – I spent more money on porn yesterday – and yesterday I found the perfect porn clip – oh man it was so good. Everything the girl was saying was just straight hot – I wish I could find a girl like this.
Anyway other than that I left the city early – after doing only the bare minimal.
To be honest I’m really not feeling work – maybe I should do something different – but porn is not going to get me there.
Most likely it’s because I’ve got clients on the line – and I’m going to make it to the next level or something.
I need something to distract me… maybe jumping from a bungee jump.
You know what I need to do? I need to start vlogging – that’ll give me something to do.
Well yesterday was another day of full on masturbation. The entire weekend had seen a huge surge of porn. Not only that I’ve spent more money on porn than I have in a long time – I don’t want to count it all up but it included:
$10 for xHamster Premium (which ended up not having the clips I wanted)
$16 for “pay my man type clip” #1
$16 for another “pay my man” type clip
That doesn’t include the money I spent yesterday. All in all it was a lot.
I did at least finish some work for an online course company – so that was cool. Probably should do a case study.
But man oh man did this porn thing really lay into me – I was thinking if I get this m50 camera I can start creating vlogs and that would be a cool hobby to have.
Well I really set myself up for a productive day – I had left early to get to the 10am appointment for the studio session and stayed through it in a hazy state – not sure why… I don’t even remember if I masturbated in the morning. But all I know is that I was hazy – afterwards I had to leave as it wasn’t midday yet and I went and meditated in the library – I actually meditated twice (so for 40 minutes) – and yet I still had no motivation to start work.
So I just went home – probably telling myself some bullsh*t story about how I’d still go to the gym or work from home.
And then the rest is history – I did end up reading an erotic story called ‘Replaced’ that had some mild elements of pedophilia (not outright stuff but there were kids around when certain humiliating things were said and some adult themes were done).
Other than that we’re talking about a whole day of masturbation – and what is there really to say?
Of course I don’t even have to mention that I missed out on the gym. So that sucks – and why the hell is my personal trainer away for a whole month?
So yesterday I started my day off by going to get a massage – I actually learned that The Edge opens after midday – this whole time I was thinking they open at 10am but I’ve never been there early enough to find out. My theory was that if I left early I would have more time to work but it didn’t quite work out that way.
Maybe it was because I didn’t orgasm in the evening nor had time in the morning – so I was all pent up. I actually started watching porn interviews in the library – including one with this girl who was really into financial cuckolding.
Other than that I was getting things done which was good – it was another day where I didn’t have food from Muscle Chef – and so I had to buy food – which I bought some sushi (carb blowout) and a protein bar aong with an Energizer Up & Go Protein shake.
So anyway eventually I left to try and go to the gym – and once again it was a failure. My theory is that I really don’t like leg day – luckily this time around I only have one squat excercise to do – my trainer has spread them out on my program – but even that I am doing all I can to avoid – not to mention my energy in general is just very low.
You would think I could just go back to the library and continue working but no – I decided to go home early – telling myself the story that after I masturbate I could then go to the gym and finish up my work – but no such luck.
Now I will say the porn session yesterday was intense – once again I did it for a long time and of course my plan of just going to the gym after evaporated. After I had some food and then became so motionless I ended up sleeping on the couch – which was weird because my room was only like 15 steps away – I will say it was a pretty interesting sleep.